Charlie Rose: Single? Stoned?...Vulnerable?
I have a terrible, unquenchable, fervid, infatuation with interviewer Charlie Rose. There's just something about his haggard, stroke victim-like features-- and those combined with his uncanny ability to make little to no sense and still be the best interviewer on television, well, it's HOT! Damned hot!
In the middle of last night's episode where he was blathering on to Wynton Marsalis about Blues, and New Orleans soul music, I started thinking that the only way I'll ever get a chance to put the hot n' heavy moves on Charlie Rose is if I'm someday famous enough to be interviewed by him. Now there's something to write in a graduate school essay!
"Your molecular biology program is perfect for me, as it will afford me the chance to combine my interests in virology and mRNA metabolism, and I will use this interdisciplinary opportunity to help further our progress towards a vaccine for HIV. Then, God-willing, I will be interviewed on PBS's "Charlie Rose" and I won't wear stockings because when I slide my pumps off under that table and begin to stroke that beautiful man's ankle, I'll want him to feel my all of my toes. Individually."
I guess the real point here is that I was wondering if the man is single. I looked it up, and according to this (http://www.bloomberg.com/media/tv/crose/bio.html) brief biography, he IS single as of 1980. However, perhaps more recent sources mention that he has a girlfriend by the name of Amanda Burden.
Another thing I've always thought about Charlie Rose is that he's either completely drunk or completely stoned or completely both, most of the time. Let's face it, sometimes he makes absolutely no sense and he rarely seems able to hold a steady gaze with the camera. It turns out other have surmised the very same thing:
"Did Charlie get that chick from the West Wing stoned and then ask her tripped out questions? Critics are saying that the smell of marijuana permeated the airwaves during a show that aired Dec. 1, 2004 with Mary-Louise Parker.
Rose started the metaphysical questions almost immediately. He asked things about Parker's life that would never emerge without psychedelic stimulation, "so do you think that by talking in an interview you're really performing, I mean, I think your true self can come through, man, but Mike Nichols says no way," Rose at one point said. Next came an inexplicable reference to one General Patton, a man whom Rose said wore a pistol on his belt."
(From the message boards on www.charlierose.com)
Now all I have to do is get famous, score some high-quality herbage, and keep my toenails nice and taken care of.
posted by Lena Webb at 4:49 PM
3 Comments:
the problem with charlie rose is his crippling fear of not being "on his game"
from what i understand the last time charlie was off his game, was at the daytona motor speedway in 1977. He and some local NASCAR enthusiasts were smoking eight cartons of marlboro reds straight while forcing an eleven year old boy to huff whippets till he passed out. Well, charlie's moment of boy-humiliating bliss was shortlived by a raceriot that insued followed by the surprise win of Sanjit Nahid over then favorite, Dale Earnhart (the dead one). An investigation opened up regarding charlie's pummeling of Sanjit. When interogated by police, Charlie's typical factually based "straight talk" was replaced with a drunken, "he was lookin' at me kinda faggy" Charlie was needless to say, devastated by his lack of actual proof.. he's reverted to a crack team of researchers and heavy drug-use ever since to numb the pain of his callous misuse of the truth.
lonley? you bet he is? but he could still kill you for lookin kinda, well you know.
You'd better make sure you have your facts straight, 'cause if Chaz ever read this and asked me where that kid "Barnyard" lives, you bet I'd tell him. And he'd come for you, yup, he'd be all over you like urine and shame on a young disobedient pup's muzzle. He'd knock you around a bit and then smoke a pack, putting each unfinished cigarette out on your arms. Then he'd "connect the dots" with a rusty razor blade, leaving his signature tag of "FUK PBS," which, incidentally, is also his license plate. Then he'd get real close to your face, blow a lungful of smoke, and scream:
WHERE'S YOUR BLOG, BARNYARD?!
So yeah. Where's your blog?!
Charlie Rose is a mess. Seems to have had a stroke. Why would (does?) Amanda Burden have any interest in him? Her parents were William and Barbara "Babe" Paley. She married well then lost that union. Guess Charlie is the best she can do at this late stage. However he still looks and speaks like a stroke victim that received no medical attention. Who hired him? Do yourself and us a favor, Mr. Rose, and just don't appear on camera any more. Please, Mr. Rose, can't you see it's just finally that time? Best of luck.
Post a Comment
<< Home